|
Golf
!
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies,
obscured by the occasional miracle,
followed by a good beer.
Golf
!
You
hit down to make the ball go up.
You swing left and the ball goes right.
The lowest score wins.
And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks!
The
term 'Mulligan' is really a contraction of the
phrase
'maul-it-again.'
A
'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers
...
neither of whom can putt very well..
An
interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play,
it's always possible to get worse.
Golf's a hard game to figure.
One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it,
hit into all the traps and miss every green.
The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
If
your best shots are practice swings and 'gimme putts',
you might want to reconsider this game.
Golf
is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
Golf
is like marriage:
If you take yourself too seriously it won't work,
and both are pretty damned expensive!
The
best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
SENIOR'S DAY AT THE COURSE:
Top Ten Reasons
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex!
#10...
A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9...
You can stop in the middle and have
a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#8...
It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#7...
Foursomes are encouraged.
#6...
You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#5...
Three times a day is possible.
#4...
Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer
if you play with someone else.
#3...
If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.
#2...
You don't have to cuddle with
your partner when you're finished.
And his NUMBER ONE reason
why golf is better than sex.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#1...
When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
|
